


Amnesia

by wintersdelirium



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, i literally dug this out of my documents on my old laptop and brushed it up, ive never tried writing one of these before and i have no idea what im doing, reincarnation gone wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26354440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersdelirium/pseuds/wintersdelirium
Summary: Waking in the middle of a field to a cloudless sky and a gentle breeze was one thing; doing so with no memory was another matter entirely.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	1. Rude Awakening.

**Author's Note:**

> I just recently got a new laptop after my last one bit the dust, and while I was going through my documents to transfer things over, I stumbled across this mess buried in my SNK folder (aptly named Yeet, for some reason) and since rewatching the series in anticipation for Season 4, my motivation to work on it returned. 
> 
> This is my first, and very poor, attempt at a reader insert. The reader character has a set name and appearance that is plot relevant (and, honestly, seeing Y/N and H/C everywhere makes me feel like I'm reading a half-finished game script half the time. It really breaks the immersion, in my opinion). In short, this is more of a practice piece than anything else and I don't really know if I actually like writing in this style.
> 
> Seriously, though, this is probably going to be trash and I'm operating way outside of my comfort zone writing this.

You were horrified.

All around you, rolling green hills dotted with lively oak trees and dusted with clusters of vibrant wildflowers stretched endlessly beneath a clear, cerulean sky. The trilling melodies of songbirds, punctuated by the cawing of crows, echoed across the pains. In the distance, a pair of horses grazed on the tall grass. The world seemed calm, peaceful, the radiance of the afternoon sun caressing your skin. A breeze, carrying the scent of wild roses, drifted past.

It was a jarring contrast to the sight beside you.

The mutilated remains of a man - at least, you assumed it was a man - lay less than a foot of way. The lower half of his body was missing, torn off it seemed, and his entrails spilled across the ground. His eyes, dull and listless, stared at the heavens above, his face frozen in abject horror. Crimson stained his clothes. The pocket of his jacket bore an emblem you’d never seen before; a pair of intersecting wings, one white and the other blue, positioned over a dull, gray pentagon resembling a shield.

A wave of nausea rushed over you and you doubled over, retching. Bile burned the back of your throat as the contents of your stomach splattered across the ground. 

Where were you? How did you get there? What happened to that man? What was going on?

The realization came forth, unbidden and demanding your utmost attention, effectively silencing all other thought. You froze, heart hammering in your chest as panic swelled within you. Nothing. You remembered absolutely nothing. Even the most basic and fundamental memories were missing.

You didn’t even know who you were.

The sound of approaching footsteps tore you from your thoughts. A voice, deep, distinctively masculine, and resonating with absolute authority shattered the silence. You nearly leaped out of your skin, a startled squeal escaping your lips.

“What the hell are you still doing out here?”

You turned to the source of the voice and recoiled. Though he barely stood taller than five feet, perhaps a couple inches at the most, everything about him from this posture to the narrowing of his eyes demanded caution. The strange contraption around his waist, filled to the brim with blades, only furthered the sentiment. 

He scoffed and came to a stop right in front of you. Your eyes fell on the front pocket of his jacket, then to the man at your feet. Their attire looked nearly identical, strange emblems and all, except the corpse lacked the strange piece of fabric around his neck.

The man’s gaze drifted to the body. This expression remained impassive, his stormy gray eyes cold and listless. After a moment, the turned his attention to you once again. His upper lip curled back in a sneer.

“Are you deaf? Who the hell are you and why are you outside the walls?” he demanded.

“Outside the walls?” you asked, peering into the distance. You saw nothing but a hazy horizon beyond the grassy plains. “What walls?”

“Don’t play stupid with me, brat. You know damn well you’re not supposed to be out here,” he snapped. 

“I…have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. You kept your eyes on his face, watching for the slightest trace of changing emotion, and swallowed the lump in your throat. “I just woke up here. I don’t even know where here is.”

“You expect me to-”

His words came to an abrupt halt as a thunderous boom rumbled in the distance. A second followed closely behind. Then another. And another. The ground shoot.

“Shit,” the man spat. “I’ll deal with you later.”

He seized you by the arm and all but dragged you toward a nearby horse. You tried to squirm out of his grasp, but his grip tightened. You hissed, pain blossoming in your shoulder, as he yanked you forward.

“Ow! What the hell are you doing?!” you demanded. Without thinking, you lashed out, banging your fist on his fingers.

“If you want to live I suggest you get your ass on that horse,” he barked. 

“What-”

The rumble continued, steadily growing in both volume and frequency. Then, you saw it. A massive humanoid creature, at least thirty feet in height, appeared over the rise of a hill behind you. It lumbered toward the two of you, a wide, bloody grin plastered on its face.

“What the fuck is that?!” you shrieked. 

The man’s gaze flickered between you and the monstrosity. “A stupid ass titan,” he said as he grabbed the reins and tugged the horse closer. “Now, hurry the hell up unless you wanna be its next snack.”

You glanced at the creature - a titan, as he called it - then at the corpse. Realization dawned on you. The overwhelming sense of horror returned and your stomach twisted painfully. Needing no further encouragement, you scrambled onto the horse.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if I was behind you?” you asked as he hauled himself into the saddle behind you and grabbed the reins. “This is...uh...kind of awkward.”

“Damn it, brat, just shut up and try not to fall off.”

He dug his heels into the horse's side and it took off. You clung to the saddle, white-knuckled and hands trembling. The titan trailed after you, gaining speed. Something that large shouldn’t be so fast; even at a full gallop, it remained far too close for comfort.

Then, it lunged.

You shrieked as the horse reared and veered to the left. The titan hit the ground, hard, and slid forward. It turned to look at you as you passed, nothing but pure, unadulterated madness in its eyes. Your heart pounded against your ribcage, the rhythm as erratic as the beating of the horse’s hooves. 

The titan clamored to its knees and leaped forward again. You ducked as its large hand swatted at the air, missing you by a hair’s breadth. Terror clawed at your chest. Your breathing became labored.

You felt the man straighten behind you. The sound of a blade being drawn rang in your ears. Then, he released the reigns and dropped them into your lap.

"Keep the horse on a straight path," he ordered.

"What? I don't know how to steer a horse!" you cried, hands fumbling with the reigns. "I don't think I've even been on a horse before!"

"Tch, shut up and follow orders before you get us both killed."

Though reluctant, you did as you were told. You kept the reigns clasped in one hand while the other continued to cling to the saddle. The horse seemed to know what to do without your guidance; it kept a straight of a path as it could, veering off course only to avoid a scraggly tree or another natrual obstacle.

Before long, thunderous footfalls began to slow and, like the passing of a storm, they faded altogether. Silence, broken only by the jangle of the harness and the clatter of metal, settled over you. Eventually, the horse's pace slowed, the gallop giving way to a leisurely trot, and from there to a walk. Your trembling subsided, and though you were still shaken by the ordeal, you relaxed into the saddle now that the imminent threat passed.

In the distance, a brilliant streak of green trailed through the sky. Several more, all of the same color, followed shortly after, the color dispersing in the wind like dust in the wind. You squinted and leaned forward, curious. 

“What are those?”

“Flares,” the man answered, offering no further explanation.

With a sigh, you resigned yourself to a quiet and uncomfortable ride. You knew you shouldn’t trust an absolute stranger but the circumstances, being what they were, offered no other alternative. The horse, at least, could outrun those monstrosities.

“Those...things, what’d you call them? Titans? They...eat people, don’t they?” you asked, sometime later, dreading the answer. 

“Just figure that one out?”

His response grated on your nerves. It was callous, dismissive, as if you’d asked the most asinine question one could ask. You bit the inside of your cheek, a retort on the tip of your tongue. Frustrating as he proved to be, you thought it best to keep your grievances to yourself. He was armed and with how easily he threw you onto it, he could just as easily throw you off the horse.

After what felt like an eternity, a darkened shadow formed on the horizon. As you drew closer, the shadow separated into a cluster of smaller silhouettes and then into splotches of green, white, and brown. People, you realized. There were over a hundred of them scattered across the area, all dressed in the same strange ensemble as the man who saved you, as well as loaded wooden carts tethered to horses.

As you rode through the strange encampment, a number of them, men and women alike, stopped to stare. Their expressions ranged from disbelief to curiosity and confusion. Most were young, likely in their mid-teens and early twenties, with only a handful that appeared anywhere near thirty or older. Almost all of them were injured in some way, sporting scraps, bruises, blood-soaked bandages, and even missing limbs. The atmosphere was heavy, laden with the misery of grief and defeat.

The horse finally came to a stop next to a tall, blond man who exuded an unmistakable air of command. He studied you for a moment, nothing but impartial consideration in his bright blue eyes, then turned to the man behind you. The intensity in his gaze was unsettling.

“Who’s this?” he asked.

“No clue,” the man behind you replied. “Found her by the forest. She claims she has no idea what she’s doing out here or where she is.”

The blond hummed in thought. “Is that so?”

You nodded. “I know it sounds hard to believe but…I really have no idea where I am or what’s going on.”

After a nerve-wracking moment of silence, the man said, “Levi, leave her here with me and return to your squad. I’ll have one of the medics check her for a concussion. We’ll be returning to the walls once we’ve finished recovering the bodies.”

The next twenty minutes passed in a blur of names, faces, and vague explanations. Humanity had been pushed to the brink of extinction and those who remained built three massive walls to defend what little territory they possessed. The strange group of people belonged to a faction of the military called the Survey Corps and, unlike the other two groups, they actively engaged in combat with the man-eating monsters that roamed the empty expanse beyond the walls. The blond man, Erwin Smith, as he said he was called, was the commander of that faction. 

None of it rang a bell.

It sounded ridiculous, as outlandish and bizarre as the plot of a fantasy novel, yet you had no reason to believe it was anything less than the truth. You’d encountered a titan. The evidence of a fierce battle pervaded the ranks of the Survey Corps yet the fields beyond the encampment held no visible signs of war.

After what felt like an eternity, one of the medics determined you were not concussed or injured in any way and concluded that your lapse in memory stemmed from another, unidentifiable source. From there, a female soldier ushered you behind a nearby tree and, as per Commander Erwin’s orders, assisted you with the tedious process of changing to a uniform they’d taken from a fallen soldier. The thought of wearing a dead woman’s clothes did not sit well with you, but the woman insisted it was necessary to get you through the gate unnoticed.

It was, as you learned, a crime to wander beyond the walls without permission. You couldn’t fathom why anyone would. The only thing waiting for them was death.

“It’s better than hiding under a pile of corpses, I suppose,” you muttered. 

You hauled yourself into the saddle of the horse they’d allotted you, and you didn’t dare question what happened to her previous owner or whose blood stained the soft white of her coat, and sighed. The horse snorted, almost as if in agreement, and bent down to graze on the grass while you waited for someone else to direct you in the proper direction. It felt awkward and uncomfortable, the leather of the saddle hard against your rear, and the feeling of a living animal beneath you. An animal that could, for any reason, decided to throw you off.

A brunette with glasses strapped to her face and a grin that seemed a touch too jaunty for the circumstances rode up beside you. She studied you for a moment and you found her gaze unsettling; her eyes held the sort of intelligent insanity of a mad scientist. Then she reached over and clapped you on the back.

“So you’re the girl everyone’s been talking about,” she said. Her grin widened. “Heard you ran into a titan and didn’t piss yourself. That’s pretty impressive. Most of the recruits can’t even manage that.”

You managed a weak smile. “I don’t know about that. I haven’t exactly had a proper reaction to, you know, everything. You’d think I’d be shitting a brick by now.”

The brunette merely shrugged. “Some people are just better at handling chaos than others. I’m Hanji, by the way. Hanji Zoe.” She paused then, as if remembering something, and said, “Oh, right. Erwin said you didn’t know your name. Hmm. I think I’ll just call you Rose for now since we found you outside Wall Rose.”

“I…guess that works,” you said. You didn’t know what else to call yourself, let alone what sort of names were considered normal to these people. It certainly removed the strain of having to come up with something on your own.

She started to say something else, but Commander Erwin’s order to retreat to the wall stopped her short.

“Ah, well, we can talk more once we get back,” she said breezily. “Oh, by the way, loosen up on the reins a little. You’ll give her mixed signals doing that.”

With a sheepish smile, you let your hands relax. “I don’t really think I’ve ever learned to ride.”

Hanji waved you off. “Don’t worry too much about steering her. She’s well-trained and she’ll follow the group. Just stay in the saddle and you’ll be fine.”

With that, she urged her horse forward. You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to tell her not to take off as quickly, then dug your heels into her side as you’d seen a few others do. The horse huffed, tossing her mane in obvious agitation, and started forward.

“I don’t like this any more than you do,” you sighed. “I really, really don’t like this at all.

**. . .**

You didn’t realize you’d fallen asleep again until someone nudged your shoulder. Exhaustion, the likes of which you’d never known, seeped into ever muscle of your body as you forced your eyes open. A massive stone wall, nearly two hundred feet in height, towered above you. Warped and bent sections of rails hung over the edge. Several cannons littered the ground at the base of the wall. The section nearest you looked damaged, a massive boulder wedged into a hole large enough for several titans to fit through unhindered.

You glanced at the members of the Survey Corps and frowned. The air of misery that surrounded them had dissipated. Their faces reflected the severity of the situation, mouths set in hard lines and brows furrowed with grim determination. The soldier who shook you shoulder, a young and pretty redhead, offered a strained but reassuring smile. 

“Normally, we’d go through the gate, but that doesn’t look possible,” she said. “One of the soldiers is going to take you up the wall. Erwin wants you to stay there with the wounded until we figure out what’s going on.”

“I’m guessing that boulder’s not supposed to be there?”

“I don’t know about that. It wasn’t there when we left,” the woman muttered. She shook her head, then, and smiled again. “If anyone asks why you’re not out there with us, just tell them you hit your head, alright? Stay on the wall where its safe.”

She slipped off her horse and joined a group of nearby soldiers. Wires lunched from the contraptions at their waist, and with an alarming speed, they shot through the air, soaring higher and higher until they passed over the wall. Your stomach dropped. 

The feeling of flying through the air at high velocity, with nothing a couple of thick wires and faith in a total stranger to keep you from falling, was even more terrifying in practice. You screwed your eyes shut, not daring to look down, as the wind ripped past. The change in direction came suddenly and your heart leaped into your throat as you felt gravity take over. 

The landing was neither rough nor jarring, but awkward. As soon as your feet hit solid ground, you stumbled and dropped to your knees. Your head spun, and when you opened your eyes, nausea settled over you. God, you were so high up. The city below looked like a massive miniaturized replica of a true settlement, a sea of broken buildings and raging fires. Titans prowled the streets and every so often, you spotted a number of small shadows darting about in the air.

As the wounded and deceased began piling on top of the walls, carts and horses arriving via lifts, another soldier instructed you to follow the procession. Though dauntless at the base, the sheer enormity of the walls did not sink in until the your feet began to ache. Halfway to your designation, you dropped onto the back of one of the carts, pointedly ignoring the bodies, wrapped in white sheets, stacked inside. 

Dropping your head into your hands, you released a long, deliberate breath. Nothing made sense. In the span of a few hours, you woke in an unfamiliar world, in the midst of an apparent crisis, surrounded by death and gore. The soldiers seemed nice enough, for the most part, but you were certain with the way the day progressed, it wouldn’t last. Commander Erwin never said he wouldn’t turn you in; he only intended to get you inside the walls.

The procession arrived at a makeshift military installment. Soldiers in similar uniforms bearing different patches on the breast pocket ushered about. Among them were more wounded, more death and despair. A man in a uniform bearing an insignia of a pair of throned roses guided the carts onto several lifts along the interior wall. As you descended, you realized the situation beyond was not much better.

Large white tents housing rows upon rows of cots lined the city streets. Men and women hurried about, tending to injured soldiers as more poured into the field hospitals. The air reeked of blood and vomit, pained cries and moans echoing around you. Just when it became too much to handle, and you stomach twisted painfully as the acrid taste of bile filled your mouth, another member of the Survey Corps thrust a roll of bandages into your hands and ordered you to assist the medics.

It was a tedious and emotionally taxing endeavor. A fresh coat of blood decorated your already soiled uniform; the sickly crimson stained your hands. After what felt like an eternity past, though it had only been two hours, the wounded trickled to a stop and the soldiers of the other faction, the Garrison as you learned, began transferring the more critical patients to the nearby hospitals. The deceased were piled into carts and you heard word pyres were already being erected in a nearby plaza for burning. In an hour’s time, they’d begin sweeping the city for bodies to prevent the spread of disease.

Finally, three hours later, you collapsed on a crate off to the side of the tent closest to the wall, a leather canteen and a tasteless rations bar, both of which given to you by a kind but frazzled field medic, utterly exhausted. You picked at the rations, your appetite dismal at best, but greedily drank the water. It helped to settle your stomach and alleviate some of the tension in your head, but at that moment, you wanted nothing more than to lie down, close your eyes, and pray like hell when you woke, it was all a dream.

Fifteen minutes was all the universe allowed. You had only just nodded off when Commander Erwin approached, flanked by another tall blond with a thin mustache and Hanji. Before the two men could come any closer, Hanji bounded up to you, grinning. 

“Well, you’re holding up well,” she chirped. “You’re a bit of a trooper, just like I thought.”

You managed a weak smile. It wasn’t that you handled the situation well, but rather you hadn’t the time to properly react, nor did you have a choice in the matter. The inhabitants of the wall were faced with an emergency, and had no qualms barking orders at you. The moment you finished one task, someone had seven more ready to be delegated. 

“I’m-”

The sound of someone sniffing your hair stopped you short. You leaned away from the mustached man, brandishing your rations in what you hoped was a threatening manner, and threw a hapless glance at Hanji. The man snorted, then smiled.

“Don’t mind him,” Hanji said, amused. “He does that. No idea why, but, well, his nose is so good he can smell a titan.”

“Right…” Despite her assurance, you shifted to the other side of the crate and eyed the man warily.

“How are you holding up?” Erwin asked. His tone was neither curious nor concerned; he asked out of politeness and nothing more.

“Give me another day for all of this to sink in and then ask me that question,” you sighed. “I feel like I just unintentionally enlisted in the military with the way I’ve been ordered around all this time.”

“Huh, funny, because I was thinking of asking you to enlist.”

You stared at her. “What? You’re joking, right?”

You glanced at Erwin, but his expression remained unchanged. He simply watched you with a touch of cold calculation in his eyes, patiently waiting your reply. The other man shrugged but said nothing else.

Hanji crouched in front of you, her face suddenly devoid of amusement, and said, “I’m asking you to join the Survey Corps.”


	2. New Beginnings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this household we love and respect Petra Ral, the actual mom friend. Honestly, I don't know if it's waned over the years, but I seriously never understood the fandoms hatred for her nor the obvious intentional butchering of her character. I understood where it stems from, but the level of petty is just baffling.
> 
> I planned to have this chapter up sooner, but I had a dental procedure done on the 10th and I seriously underestimated the after effects of conscious sedation - and I'm laughing at the irony of the title of the work, all things considered. 
> 
> I also wanted to throw a quick shout-out to everyone who's read, commented, bookmarked, and left kudos. I wasn't sure how well received this would be, especially since it's my first attempt at posting something of this nature, and the feedback is greatly appreciated.
> 
> For those of you who have Wattpad, this work is also available there under the same title on my fan-fiction account, ephemeralradiance, along with my original character story (which is trash and currently being rewritten).

Refusal wasn't an option.

As someone who trespassed beyond the walls, you were in violation of a law, and by all rights, liable to suffer the full extent of the consequences regardless of your awareness to the situation. You faced a month in prison at best and execution as a threat to humanity at worst; a decision unfortunately based on the current mood of the Military Police. With the recent breech of the walls and a complication caused by a soldier recently found to possess the ability to become a titan, the chances of a light sentence were slim. Commander Erwin and his men were sympathetic to your plight, and willing to break another law to spare you the mercy of the Military Police, but that did not mean they trusted you.

Keep your friends close and enemies closer, Erwin had said when you questioned the offer. As someone who came from beyond the walls, you were a potential source of vital information; a resource they couldn't afford to lose, but an unknown factor nonetheless. It was an offer of mutual advantage, not of concern for your well-being. Both Hanji and Erwin made that clear. Perhaps their honesty meant to convince you to place your trust in them, or it was a warning.

Trust or otherwise, you didn't have a choice. Hanji's offer posed less of a risk of imminent demise. It granted you a place within the Survey Corps as a non-combatant member, the assistant to Hanji, their resident, and possibly mad, scientist, and full access to all its amenities. You would have a roof over your head, food in your belly, and a place to sleep at night; none of which were guaranteed if the Military Police pulled you into their clutches.

You stood in front of the mirror situated in the corner of the communal shower and examined your reflection. The teal button down Hanji acquired complemented the beige, cropped jacket boldly displaying the mark of the Survey Corps. Beneath the jacket, and over the stark white pants, lay a maze of thick, leather straps which connected to the belt around your waist. Unlike with the previous uniform, the brown, knee-high boots fit snuggly, the toes neither too loose nor too tight and the pants didn't sag in the crotch.

It was your face that seemed off. A smattering of freckles dusted the pale skin across the bridge of your nose and high cheekbones. Long, tawny waves fell over your shoulders and the graceful sweep of your bangs framed your rounded face. Grey eyes, as dreary and somber as a cloudy day, stared back at you. A mole marked the spot between your left nostril and your upper lip. You looked young, somewhere in your mid to late teens.

The girl reflected in the mirror was not you, but she mimicked your every move with uncanny precision. When you raised your arm, hers followed. When you opened your mouth, she did as well. When you pinched your cheek, color blossomed on hers. You were her, but you weren't. You were sure of that.

Sighing, you pulled your hair into a loose pony tail and mentally ran through the information found in the file that accompanied the uniform. From today onward, until your memory returned, if it returned, you were Rose Lasch, a distant relative of Hanji's who accepted the offer to become her much-needed assistant after your family fell on hard times. Erwin made arrangements with various members of the regiment, under whom you would learn the most basic and fundamental aspects of combat. Whether you furthered that training and chose to take a more active role as a full and able member of the Survey Corps depended on your potential and progress.

Most of the soldiers knew you were found outside the walls, but with the coming addition of new members following the soon-to-be-held graduation ceremony for the Training Corps, Erwin expressed the need for secrecy. There was no possible way to explain your presence beyond the wall, and should word of your existence reach the public or the Military Police, it would not bode well for you or the regiment.

It was a lot to take in.

Petra, the pretty redhead you'd spoken to the day before, met you in the hall. A kind smile graced her lips as you stepped out of the showers, picking at the straps. They were uncomfortable, hugging nearly every inch of your body in ways you weren't accustom too. The ones around your feet felt especially awkward; you could feel them pulling against the arch of your foot with every step.

"You'll get used to them," Petra assured you. "Unless you take up the offer for further training, they're just there to make you look the part."

You gave her a skeptical look. Erwin and Hanji were upfront about their relative mistrust despite their cordial demeanors. Petra was nice enough, but you didn't miss the way she studied your every move, thinly veiled mistrust in her bright hazel eyes. The feeling was mutual. You did not know these people, nor their intentions, though they seemed reasonable.

"I thought I was getting combat training," you said.

"You are," she agreed, then motioned for you to follow, "but not the kind those straps are for. It'll be physical conditioning and close combat for now."

The halls of the Garrison Headquarters, where the Survey Corps was currently staying until the higher ups deemed dilemma in Trost over, was much like a castle in some respects. Stone walls, lined with burning torches that cast a pale orange glow across the stone floors. Every so often you passed a set of large, high arching windows that overlooked the central courtyard, curtains pulled aside to allow the morning sun to further illuminate the interior. There was a novelty to the architecture, one that seemed familiar yet foreign, like seeing an old painting fully restored hundreds of years after its creation. You'd seen similar places before, but you couldn't place where.

"Commander Erwin also wants you to look into taking up a position as a medic," she said as she led you down a flight of stairs. "Many of the Garrison's medics said you seem to have a knack for it. I'm sure you noticed when Captain Levi brought you back, those with extended medical knowledge are in high demand in our regiment."

It was an understatement if you ever heard one. The injuries among their ranks were extensive, treated quickly rather than efficiently, and several soldiers succumbed to their wounds before they reached the wall. Risk of incurable infection plagued the survivors; you'd heard several of the medics express their concerns over such during your unofficial tenure as member of their ranks. It seemed a reasonable skill to possess and one that, should you later decide to forsake the life of a soldier, may prove useful.

At the base of the stairs, Petra turned to you and offered another disarming smile. This time, her eyes held no suspicion, only genuine sympathy and kindness. Compared to Levi's aloof demeanor, Hanji's eccentricity, and Erwin's stiff and formal manner, it was a welcome change.

"We may not trust you, but that doesn't mean we're going to leave you to fend for yourself. Don't hesitate to ask if you need help or there's something you don't understand," she said. "The Survey Corps is like one big, dysfunctional family. It might not seem like it at first, but we all look out for each other."

Unsure of how to respond, you nodded and followed her into the courtyard. Compared to the chaos the previous day, the soldiers hustling about exuded an air of melancholic calm as they loaded piles of timber and crates marked "oil" into horse-drawn carts. You didn't need to ask what they were for. The funeral pyres burnt through the night, and when you woke that morning, smoke continued to rise beyond the wall. With the titans in the city eliminated, the recovery operation began. Soldiers, Garrison and Survey Corps alike, worked tirelessly to remove and identify bodies, and the carts carrying the deceased streamed through the now-opened gates.

Though you did not know these people, you couldn't help the pang of grief tugging at your heart. You saw but one side of the conflict, but the pained groans and terrified cries of the wounded and passing haunted you long after Hanji escorted you to your temporary lodging. You scrubbed your skin raw in the shower the night before, but try as you might, you couldn't rid your hands of the warm, sticky feeling of blood. Suddenly, the idea of pursuing the position of a medic didn't seem so appealing.

Petra led you across the courtyard and through a large wooden door on the opposite end. After several twists and turns down more stone halls line with torches, and another flight of stairs, she stopped before a set of large, oaken doors. She pushed them open and revealed perhaps the most wonderful sight you'd seen since waking the day before. Rows upon rows of floor-to-ceiling bookcases spanned the width of the massive room beyond, their shelves crammed full of books. Wooden tables and couches were scattered throughout the open spaces while smaller armchairs sat tucked into alcoves. A row of arched windows lined the back wall, assisting the torched chandeliers hanging from the ceiling with the task of brightening the room. The smell of glue and old paper clung to the air.

"Commander Erwin plans to start your training, and your duties as Hanji's assistant, next week," Petra said. She ushered you through the door and to one of the more secluded tables near the windows. "In the mean time, he wants you to learn as much as you can about the walls and our history. It might even make your job easier. Hanji's explanations can be difficult to understand." Towards the end of her explanation, her voice adopted a note of exasperation.

Without further explanation, she disappeared behind a row of shelves. She returned a few moments later with a stack of books cradled in her arms. You took the one she handed you and ran your fingers over the top of it. It was older, covered in thick, worn leather and the pages yellowed with age. Scrawled across the front in decorative golden text was the title, History of the Walls. The others were newer, their covers hard and pages worn not from age, but use. Those bore a more pedantic style of writing, similar to a textbook, while the first placed more value in poetic description of major events over the past hundred years.

When Erwin and his soldiers explained the situation, it seemed outlandish. The very concept of the world's population reduced so significantly that all of humanity fit within three walls no larger than a small country as a result of the sudden and inexplicable appearance of massive, man-eating monstrosities seemed inconceivable. Then you saw the titans and climbed the wall and the hope that this was all just a terrible dream crumbled before your eyes. The tales woven throughout the book confirmed everything you'd learned the day before.

The titans appeared over a century ago and wrought havoc upon the world. The survivors built three massive walls, Maria, which had fallen five years prior, Rose, the wall which Hanji named you after, and Sina, the smallest and innermost wall. How they came into existence was not explained, though there were some religious sects who believed they were bestowed upon humanity by the three goddesses for which they were named. Those religious sects eventually gained a foothold within the government, and through them, the laws which you violated were put into place. The more you read, the more grateful you were for Erwin's willingness to welcome you within the ranks of the Survey Corps. The followers of those religious ideas reviled anything that came from beyond the walls; if word of your presence reached their ears, you'd likely be on your way to an early demise rather than sitting in an old library leafing through historical texts.

You hadn't realized how much time passed until Petra arrived with your evening meal, a half-stale loaf of bread and a bowl of bland vegetable stew. The setting sun painted the sky with the splendor of dusk, the clouds glowing with vibrant hues of pink and orange. Only the lighting had changed in that time; the courtyard remained alive with busy soldiers, the carts that carried supplies now shuttling the bodies of the deceased to their final resting place. Once night fell, the glow from the pyres would illuminate the sky once more. The thought was enough to stem your appetite.

#

The next two days passed in a similar fashion. Both mornings, Petra arrived to escort you to the library, where she left you to study the history and culture within the walls. The knowledge gained from the books helped fill the empty space within your head and the task of memorizing the information offered a much needed distraction from the lingering thoughts plaguing your mind. The situation was much easier to accept if you didn't spent every second dwelling on the matter.

The third day offered a change of pace. Petra didn't come to escort you to the library; instead, Hanji arrived in a flurry of babbled explanations and unconstrained excitement and ushered you into the central courtyard where several members of the Survey Corps gathered. Before you had a chance to question her, you found yourself seated on the back of the horse Erwin gave you three days prior, a white mare called Giselle, following the congregation out of the city and onto a dirt road that wound through a large expanse of grassy plains.

Scattered villages surrounded by fields of wheat and vegetables dotted the otherwise empty landscape, dotted with natrual plots of vibrant wildflowers. Your thoughts drifted towards the field you'd woken in, and you found yourself glancing over your shoulder, expecting to see a titan looming in the distance. All that greeted you was a shrinking wall that eventually gave way to a hazy horizon and the questioning stares of several soldiers.

The fields gave way to a forest of tall pines. Their branches arched over the road, which continued deeper into the forest. Shafts of golden sunlight spilled through the thin, needle-like leaves, glistening off the pools of water collected in the depressions in the path. The air, laden with lingering scent of rain, turned thick with humidity. You pulled your hair free of its pony tail and twisted it into a dense bun atop your head.

Hanji hadn't told you of your destination, only that you would know when you arrived. After what felt like hours, long enough for your rear to numb and the ache in your lower back spread throughout much of your body, the forest broke and the group spilled into a large clearing. You had thought the Garrison Headquarters in Trost, with it's high, fortified walls and towers, resembled a castle, but the beautiful construction of stone and stained glass resting atop a rise on the edge of the forest said otherwise.

Even with your lapse of memory, you were certain you'd never seen a castle before, at least, not in person. The sight of it sparked a sense of wondrous familiarity, as if seeing a picture brought to life before your eyes. The colored glass seemed to glitter beneath the evening sun, the pale and faded stone diffused with a soft orange glow. You couldn't help but stare in awe as Hanji led the group into the central courtyard and gave the order to dismount.

"Hey! Rose! How you holding up?"

It took a moment for the name to register. A knowing smile graced Hanji's lips as she clapped you on the back, a bit too roughly for your liking, and laughed. Though you'd only spoken to her a handful of times over the past three days, you were beginning to understand Petra's exasperation. Just being within a few feet of her was enough to sap the energy out of you.

"Ah, you'll get used to it," she said dismissively. "Come on, there's someone I want you to meet. You'll be working with him pretty often now."

In what you were coming to associate as typical fashion for Hanji, she ushered you through the front entrance of the castle and up a winding flight of stairs. Where the halls of the Garrison headquarters were wide and lined with windows, the castle's corridors were deceptively narrow and dark, illuminated by burning torches situated between the numerous doors set into the interior wall. The air smelled of dust and mold, yet, as your eyes wandered over the walls and floor, you couldn't find the source. Every inch of the hall was spotless, even the doors' handles and hinges seemed to shine in the torchlight.

"This is one of our older bases," Hanji explained as she led you up a second flight of stairs. "Man, it's been a few years since we've been here."

"Years?" you asked. You ran your hand along the wall and it came away clean. No dust. No dirt. Nothing. "It looks a bit too clean to be unused."

Hanji laughed, loud and boisterous. Her voice echoed off the walls of the narrow, winding stairwell, and you winced. "Levi never changes."

You decided not to question it. A nagging voice in the back of your mind warned you not to encourage her as much as possible; after several hours on horseback, you simply didn't have the energy to tolerate her exuberant nature any more than necessary. The lingering pain in your back and the emptiness gnawing at your stomach certainly didn't help matters.

On the third floor, Hanji stopped before a door in the middle of the hall, and with no warning whatsoever, flung it open. The man inside, an older soldier with sandy blond hair and hints of stress showing in the faint lines of his face, nearly leapt out of his skin as Hanji strode in, blissfully unaware, or unconcerned, with the panic she'd elicited. A look of exhaustion crossed his features as he threw her a half-hearted glare.

He must be used to it, you concluded.

"Rose, this is Moblit, my second in command," Hanji said, pulling you into the room. It was an office of sorts, small and compact, complete with a polished oak desk in the center. Two large, floor to ceiling shelves spanned either side of the room. The left most one was empty, save for a couple unpacked boxes. A stack of overflowing folders sat on the corner of the desk. The man - Moblit - dropped the book in his hand on top of the pile. "Moblit, look! I brought our new assistant!"

"She's not supposed to start until next week," Moblit chided. He sighed then, and gave you a pitying look. "You have no idea what you signed up for."

"Why wait?" Hanji asked. She waved her hand at the shelves, then at the desk. "We've gotta get everything in order before we start the experiments!"

"Experiments?"

"Don't worry about that," Moblit said, almost too quickly. "That's not part of your job-"

"This is great!" Hanji cried, cutting him off. "With her taking notes, you'll have more time to get more detail in the drawings! Maybe we can even test his response to a total stranger!"

"Hanji," Moblit said with a bit more force. "Commander Erwin explicitly said she was not allowed to be a part of the experiments. She's not trained. If he loses control-"

"Levi and his squad will be there if anything goes wrong."

You glanced between the two of them, unsure of what to say. These experiments, whatever they were, sounded dangerous, if not deadly. Hanji seemed to think otherwise, but if the scattered rumors you heard were true, her sense of danger was as warped and twisted as her mentality. It might not seem dangerous to her, a trained and veteran solider, but to you, with your limited knowledge and lack of training, everything about this strange world posed a significantly higher chance of an early and gruesome demise. Anxiety bubbled within you; would Hanji defy an apparent order and drag you into whatever she had planned?

"Well, I'll leave you two to it, then!" Hanji said breezily. "Get some sleep tonight, Rose. We're starting tomorrow!"

Before either you or Moblit could say anything, she bounded out the door with a gleeful squeal.

"Just being around her is enough to give you whiplash," you muttered.

Moblit sighed. "You get used to it, eventually. I hope you're as tough as they say you are. Hanji'll work you to the bone if you're not careful."

"I'm starting to realize that," you sighed.

Maybe Erwin's offer wasn't the better alternative, or, perhaps, there was no better alternative. No matter what you chose, it seemed, something unpleasant waited around every corner.

Just what had you gotten yourself into?


End file.
